* * * MY COMRADE: Top Headlines * * *

TOP HEADLINES

Monday May 3, 2010

QUEEN LATIFAH Renews Subscription to People Magazine

My Comrade has learned that entertainer Queen Latifah has renewed her subscription to People Magazine.

Her year-long subscription was to have ended last week, but she made a last-minute decision to renew after hearing that this week's issue features a celebrity coming-out cover story.

Latifah wants to learn for herself about the tantalizing news!

Filed Under: Celebrities, Media

COMMENTS

Saturday May 1, 2010

Heterosexuals To Blame For Giant OIL SPILL

Heterosexuals' long history of destroying the environment continues with a giant oil spill ravaging the Gulf of Mexico.

The cause of the disaster is a leaking oil rig owned by British Petroleum. Like virtually all other multinational oil companies, its executives and workers are overwhelming straight.

The rig was installed several years ago to suck oil from the Earth primarily so heterosexuals can fuel large cars to transport their large families.

As heterosexuals add more and more people to our crowded planet, their increasing demand for oil is sure to result in more environmental disasters.

Straights = Oil Greed = Earth Disaster.

Filed Under: World News

COMMENTS

Thursday April 29, 2010

MY COMRADE Calls For Boycott of Arizona's Tacky TURQUOISE JEWELRY

Boycott Arizona! That's the battle cry after the state passed a harsh new law cracking down on illegal immigrants.

MyComrade.com joins the fight by urging members of the LGBT community to boycott one of the state's most important products—tacky turquoise jewelry.

Arizona annually produces a huge onslaught of garish bright blue rings, bracelets, belt buckles, earings, bolo ties and other items.

Many of the accessories are purchased by flamboyant gays, especially same-sex square dancers.

For them to curb their turquoise jewelry habit will take considerable effort.

But we must stay united in our activist efforts.

Boycott tacky turquoise jewelry from Arizona now! (Tacky turquoise jewelry from New Mexico is acceptable.)

Filed Under: Activism, Fashion

COMMENTS

Tuesday April 27, 2010

Boyish Pop Singer JUSTIN BIEBER Tops Priest Poll

According to a new survey, Catholic priests consider sixteen-year-old singing sensation Justin Bieber to be their favorite celebrity.

"He's such a fine spicemen of young manhood," gushes Father Woody O'Leacher of Dublin, Ireland.

"There's no one more innocent and pure looking," agrees Boston priest Wally Pincher.

Another priestly favorite: American Idol's David Archuleta who is 19-years-old but looks much younger.

In recent years the Jonas Brothers ranked high in the priest poll, but the group's popularity has declined as its members have matured.

Says Father O'Leacher, "We priests prefer young talent."

Filed Under: Celebrities, World News

COMMENTS

Sunday April 25, 2010

CHASTITY BONO Donates Breasts To Help Smother Volcano

Iceland has a powerful new weapon for combating exploding volcanoes: Chastity Bono's recently removed breasts.

Bono, the offspring of pop-music duo Sonny and Cher, is transitioning into a man and has been holding on to her substantial flesh mounds with plans of someday transforming them into a hilly park. She has decided instead to generously donate them to Iceland's emergency volcanic efforts.

A fleet of helicopters will transport her breasts from California to active volcano Eyjafjallajökull where they will be dropped into its gaping crater. The sheer size of the breasts is expected to completely stuff up the volcano and halt emission of lava and poisonous ash.