Sunday April 25, 2010
Iceland has a powerful new weapon for combating exploding volcanoes: Chastity Bono's recently removed breasts.
Bono, the offspring of pop-music duo Sonny and Cher, is transitioning into a man and has been holding on to her substantial flesh mounds with plans of someday transforming them into a hilly park. She has decided instead to generously donate them to Iceland's emergency volcanic efforts.
A fleet of helicopters will transport her breasts from California to active volcano Eyjafjallajökull where they will be dropped into its gaping crater. The sheer size of the breasts is expected to completely stuff up the volcano and halt emission of lava and poisonous ash.
"I'm so proud of my son," said Cher, when reached at her Malibu mansion.
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